When I get that feeling...

I want... To play a... PROT PALLY! PROT PALLY BABY! TANKIN YEAH! Yup, I'm getting the urge. THE URGE TO TANK. Next time you see me I'll probably be 5/57/9. At least, that's the plan until kek tells me to STFU and get back to ret.

champion of the frozen wastes

I haz it.

Merry Christmas!

Merry christmas. And all the other religions out there that aren't commercialized enough for me to write. Happy Holidays from the Holynub Report

Wowhead test!

Alrighty then. In my quest to make this site more shpiffy, i'm gonna use this post to try and see if i can get that goddamn wowhead tooltip thingy to work.
Broken I.W.I.N. Button
SUCCESS!

Tower Defense: THE GAME!

OMG what the hell? So many freakin posts all at once? Yeah, well that is how it works, deal with it noobs!



So anyway, been posting a lot of talky blah blah posts, so here is some actual gaming info for you guys. The video is from Chris Pirillo, who is kind of like if Colin Farrel had a cousin, who was as geeky and nerdy as Colin Farrel is cool, it's this guy. If you are new to Tower Defense I would recommend watching the video, because it takes you through the eyes of a novice, but if you get annoyed with him like I did, you can watch pure gameplay shtuff here. Chris used to host the Tech TV show "Call for Help" opposite the beautiful and talented Morgan Webb.

Put the joysticks down boys. Don't make me post a picture of Carrot top to calm you down.

BTW the award for FUCKING HOTTEST GIRL EVER that shares a similar hobby as me goes to... Morgan Webb. With Eva Longoria in a close second with wood burning. heh... she totally gets MY wood on fire... ANYWAY, game blog!

So yeah if you tit junkies could wrestle away your interest for a few moments to talk about the game above called Defense Grid by the awesome and hard working folks at Hidden Path Entertainment. I haven't played the game. However, it looks like a really decent polished product of a game genre that really hasn't been approached in anything more complex then warcraft and starcraft mods and flash applications. I admit I played a ton of TDs on WC III. Some of my Favorites were Gem TD, Elemental TD and a variety of the Duke Wintermal TDs.

Anyway, if you were as obsessed as I was and need a new fix, this is probably a good bet, especially at $20, it's very affordable. If you are new to the genre, I would also give it a shot, because the concept behind Tower Defense works because it is essentially a simple concept, which can be expanded upon and grows with the player's understanding of the game's parameters. Tons and tons of replay value if they did this right and it looks like they did. (this post actually took longer then usually because I kept gawking at Morgan, I'm such an idiot.)

You did this to yourself.

WOW the destroyer of worlds

It seems like the article about WoW making people flunk out of college (the original, not ours) has garnered attention from some fellow bloggers. A particular favorite of mine Bannable Offenses decided to chime in. I really love his blog and read it regularly. It's an interesting comedic look into the world from the other side of the monitor glass, the GMs. Now, I can relate. I was actually Lead GM for a now Debunct Korean MMORPG called Ferentus. I was known only by my forum avatar which was a picture of Ukyo from Samurai showdown and the alias Avarice.

ALL ABOARD THE SUBJECT DERAIL TRAIN!!! OH SHIT! THE TRAIN IS DERAILING! HOLY OBVIOUS SUBTEXT BATMAN!

So on a side note, I was looking online for any remnants of this game on the internet and found this gem in the link provided.

"Each civilization may make various alliances or conflicts, and overall soil themselves in the world of Ferentus."

WTF!?? overall soil themselves? Are they wearing overalls? Are they just being really thorough about the soiling? Does the land of Rog have a gastroenterological crisis on their hands or more acurately in their overalls? Seriously, who writes this shit? No wonder no one played that game. I wouldn't play something either if I was told there was a chance that I WOULD LOSE CONTROL OF MY BOWELS.

Dude 1: hey man I just got the new copy of Call of Duty: World at War, it's so awesome it'll make you shit yourself.
Dude 2: Awesome man! So it's intense huh?
Dude 1: yeah it's really intense. The collector's edition comes with this urban camo diaper.
Dude 2: ...
Dude 1: oh look and there is the logo.
Dude 2: Wait, wait, wait, you actually shit yourself?
Dude 1: Yeah man, it's like this weird accidental thing kinda like the brown noise but for interactive entertainment. They stumbled on it while they were developing. Oh man and there is 4 player multiplayer... kinda... with 2 xboxes.
Dude 2: Fuck that shit. I am outtie.
Dude 1: Where you going man? Dude, I totally got you your own diaper!!! It's not like we'd have to share!

Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah Bannable Offenses, posted some shit on the same topic and I danced and giggled like a little school girl. Granted I didn't have to dress up like one, but I feel it really added to the mood.

visual approximation

So yeah... WoW is making kids drop out of college? That is nothing, the MMORPG I worked for apparently made people shit themselves. Fuck you FCC, get your priorities straight. Oh btw, this unpleasant trip down memory lane has inspired me to recount my horrendous horror stories in a segment I am going to call TRUE LIFE: I WAS A MMORPG GM or Ban Stick of Epic Retribution: the life of a MMORPG GM.

Anyway, props to Bannable Offenses. You are teh pwnage. I mean the guy feeds people that make stupid petitions to his dragon. You have no idea how much I wish I thought of that.

Games and Society

To add to Christiansen's post, I wanna throw my 2 gil/copper/zenni/cents out there as well. As the gaming industry continues to expand, society has taken a very different stance on video games.

Think back fifteen or even twenty years ago. The profile gamer was either a sub-12 year old or a post-25 year old living in his parents basement(possibly playing D&D with his "party"). Video games were part of a sub-culture in the US. There was no seriousness about it. Gaming was about playing games and having simple fun. The role of video games in society was "things that nerds or small children did." Around the turn of the century, the role of games in society began to change. With the increase in popularity of online gaming, the gaming community began to change. Without getting into a history lesson here, lets flash forward to today. What are games for us in 2008(soon to be 2009).

Arguably one of the best places to read up on the daily interactions of video games and our society is gamepolitics.com. This is where I tend to go for my daily fix of /facepalm's. 98% of the time I go there, I sit in bewilderment of our society.

It seems to me(a person with a semi-functional brain), that nobody in this goddamn society wants to take responsibility for their own actions. Nothing is ever YOUR fault, it's always THEIR fault. It's a weak and overused excuse. It's not MY fault that I shoved the firecracker up my ass, it's YOUR fault for not putting a warning to NOT PUT IT UP MY ASS. Or how about the famous, I didn't know the HOT COFFEE was HOT. I'm suing you.


As Christiansen pointed out, the FCC commissioner blames World of Warcraft as the leading cause of college dropouts. yes. Lets totally not count the fact that we're currently in an economic recession, credit markets are needing a bailout, people are defaulting on their mortgages, the US has shed over 100,000 jobs during this month, and the cost of going to college is on average about $35k a year. Did I mention that some college graduates come out with over $100k worth of student loans? Alright, alright, I'll stop with the links. Just tryin to cite my sources.

In the context of the gaming culture, the one group that refuses to take any social responsibility are the parents(I know they'll never read this blog so I can say this[on second thought, i don't give a shit if they do read it]). I must give credit for this next bit to a pretty smart man, George Carlin. Parents gotta be the most full of shit people on the planet. Let me rephrase that, STUPID parents gotta be the most full of shit people on the planet. I know a bunch of good people who raised their kids right(*cough cough* my folks *cough cough*). It's pretty much the same shit every time with these stupid parents. If the kid comes out all fucked up, they had nothing to do with it. "Ohh it's all those damn video games he plays." or "It's because he was talking with those weird fucking people online." If the kid is successful, they're the first ones to raise their hands and be like "Yeah that was all me. I did a good job, look here." Here's the dumb thing, this can happen TO THE SAME KID. He might fucks up on SATs and has to settle for a "lower" university, hey it happens. BAM! Not their fault. Kid is barred from all family functions because he's a disgrace. Kid later wins a nobel prize for his work at this "lower" university, BAM! "It was because I pushed him with his studies and told him to never give up" bullshit. Now lets do the oh so fun game examples.

Here's one. Two kids hang a kitten with a xbox controller after playing GTA. Yes. Because the game "This game allows players to kill cops and rape women,” which leads to violence against small animals. The boys were age six and seven. The report blames the content of the game for the actions of the two small children. Yet, where are the parents in this case? No mention of how two small children were given permission to play a game that is only purchasable by someone 17 or older. Child supervision? Any? Baby sitter? Older sibling? Uncle? Aunt? PARENT? None? Well then. Lets put some small children in a room with a loaded gun and see how that turns out. And when they shoot each other, lets blame the gun.

Speaking of assault with a weapon. Check this kid out. The kid tries to rob his fucking teacher in order to buy GTA4. Because his mother wouldn't buy it for him. And it's the game's fault. Wait wait. I'm not sure if I can blame the parents directly. But their kid is pretty fucked up. And if he did play GTA, he must've been a terribad. First he asks for $20. Then $1. WTF kind of bargaining is that?

Ohhh hohohoho. Yeah, this will seem mean. Brandon Crisp. You might remember him. He's the 15 year old kid that went missing after his parents banned him from playing XBox360. Ohhh the mother is blaming Call of Duty 4. It's an addiction to the game. Blah blah blah. No,no, the extreme lack of parenting and not beating the shit out of your kid for being a complete fucking idiot. In all honesty, I see it as natural selection. If two retards breed, the spawn shouldn't survive. Oh yeah, the kid was found. I think the best would be the raids done on pages in his honor.

Alright, my face is getting red from slapping it so much. I must conclude this article here. I hope those of you that read this kinda get where I'm coming from. All blame cannot be solely placed on one thing. People gotta suck it the fuck up and take responsibility for their shit. Maybe I'll edit this article and turn it into a paper for some class one day.

Games: societies sin, scapegoat or savior?

I dunno what they have been putting in my tea recently, but I've been feelin awful high and mighty (my guess based on the symptoms would be THC and Steroids). So anyways, I was cruisin escapistmagazine.com in the news section after getting a delightfully weekly dose of our surly australian friend yahtzee, when I come across two conflicting news articles.

The first was a story about a virtual reality experience called "snow world", which is being used to treat burn victims. Specifically in this video a Iraq War Veteran who is recovering from an injury sustained from an RPG blast.



I assume the penguins and snowmen are up to something insidious. They usually are. If there is anything I have learned from backpacking through Greenland, is to never trust penguins and that their thug snowmen are usually in tow. Regardless, this seems like a great use of gaming as a powerful means of suggestion, by taking the focusing and redirecting capabilities of gaming and building a treatment specific experience around it. This is just the tip of the iceberg, where they go from here is going to be interesting.

Then... THEN!!! I come across this horse shit of an article.

FCC says online games are leading cause of college drop outs



I mean we have all heard about it. The story about the guy that had a free ride to "insert posh expensive college" and got kicked from school because he was playing too much "insert time consuming brain vacuum MMORPG". I mean FFS I am tired of hearing this shit.

GTA causes school shootings. WoW causes people to flunk out of college. Spore causes people to strap bananas to turtles and try to mate with them. No, I am sorry this is all bullshit.

Video games, like any other form of entertainment media, are inherently devoid of ethical leaning. They are a vessel for the expression of the people creating it AND playing it. They are a reflection of our society. The fucked up shit in video games is the result of fucked up shit in the world. Not the vice versa.

Now in the context of the first article, it is undeniable that video games do have a powerful suggestive force, that derives primarily from it being an experiential form of entertainment rather then a passive one. So if it can convince someone that their burn wound doesn't hurt like fuck, then some douchebag jagoff with a chip on his shoulder playing GTA might think the game was a suggestion rather then a hedonistic release from everyday toils inspired by gangster movies such as scarface. Then again there is also this story about a guy who shot himself in the leg because his unsafetied gun was slipping out of his sweatpants in a club. Maybe you have heard the story?

My point is: people are fucking dumb. Putting blame on video games and trying to regulate their content is treating the symptom of a much larger problem. There are many steps that led to the behaivor of these individuals and although a particular game might be a step along the way, it certainly is not the cause.

The more we treat people like mindless drones capable of being manipulated at the tiniest suggestion, the more they are going to act like it. We have to hold people responsible for their actions. Also, we have to realize that there is a problem here that we either aren't aware of or just flat out aren't addressing.

Wow is what you make it. So when you see this article or someone tells you that you are a sweaty shut in social retard, tell em to fuck off. I am proud to play WoW. I have met (thanks to blizzcon, literally met) interesting people from all around the United States, that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to.

Sorry about getting all preachy. I promise more surly comical game blog content soon.

ALT DING TIME!

Ok.... Our mains are now 80. You know what that means....

ALT TIME MOTHA FUCKAS! RETS DO DIS!

Here's Holy's list:

Sendou	63	Death Knight	Current project
Holynub	70	Priest	Shelfed till further notice(Needs to get to Dalaran for crafting)
Hikoa	70	Mage	Shelfed till further notice(Needs to get to Dalaran for crafting)
Yosemitesam	70	Hunter	Shelfed till further notice(Needs to Dalaran)

Holy's family list:

Bakatare	74	Druid	Pop's current project
Upolu	70	Warlock	Probably pop's next project
Anitrias	58	Death Knight	Not sure what he's gonna do with this
Kahokunui	58	Death Knight	Possible next project for Kek
Kukailimoku	70	Shaman	Another possible next project for kek

God... the more i look at this list. I get kinda depressed/happy. Sigh... Time to get to work.
BTW: I am the first Wonderbread to 80! w0rd.

DING IRL!

Lvl 24 Giant Asian/Nordic dood.
professions: Kicking Ass, Taking Names
+15 asian gaming racial
+15 nordic alcohol tolerance (overwrites asian alcohol weakness)

Cheers!

DING!

This will be the official Holynub Report Ding post. Feel free to tell teh world. You dingied. LETS GET TO WORK PEOPLE!

Progress:
Wonderbread(US-Dragonblight)- 80 11/23/2008 RRIIINNGG DINNNG DONNNGG!
Thordyn -enhancement shaman- (US-Alleria) - 80 11/27/08 Thanksgiv-DING!!!!!
Thordynn -retribution paladin (US-Alleria)- 71 12/01/08 Dingbat!!!
Thorgasmic -deathknight- (US-Alleria) -58 DING! Created 11/21/08

EDIT: WTF? What's with all the thor-stuff names? Holy original batman.

RE: EDIT: my first character was named Thorden, after reading about a supposedly real person named Thorden Longbeard. The character is a dwarf with a really long beard and I wanted to use maces, the name kinda fit. Everyone calls me thor in /G so I just went with it. Also, we had a DK naming thread and they demanded I name my DK Thorgasm, which was taken so I named him Thorgasmic.

P.S. I actually did come up with it on my own, but realized later that it is infact one of the randomly generated names. I am currently in the process of going through all the servers and killing each of them. There can be only one THORDEN!!!

Edit again: What's this!? Where's you pally leveling!?

RE Edit again: I am not leveling my pally yet, I switched my main to an enhancement shaman.
Who will be the Ding King? Only time will tell.
EDIT REPLY: Enh Shaman? Quitter!
RE: Edit Reply: I was tired of healing. Wanted to try something new.

IT WAS ME! BITCHES!

zomg you haxxored it!!! grats man!!! I haz also dinged.

AFK lvling to 80

Yeahhh... haven't been posting anything lately... BRB.

Epic Fallout 3 thread is Epic

What is the most messed up thing you have done in Fallout 3?

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.76137

Fable 2 opening thoughts

So I was faced with the decision this week of eating for the next two weeks or finally fucking buying a TV and an X-box.

The fact that I am posting here should tell you where that decision went. So anyway, I went to the local Game Stop and said "gimmie gimmie omfg gimmie". Fallout 3 was sold out. After flipping out and killing everyone in the store other then the employees, I was calmed slightly as the scared huddle of employees flung a copy of Fable 2 at me.

So I bought the X-box which also came with Legos Indiana Jones and Kung Fu Panda "oh goodie". I had those ranked #3 on my list. Not the list of games I wanted, but rather the list of stuff I would use as an unpleasant substitute to toilet paper in a pinch. The #1 and #2 spots being termite infested tree bark and a macaroni picture of Dr. Phil respectively.

So I have been playing Fable 2 a little bit. I haven't finished the game by any means. Instead I am taking my time and enjoying every little intricate detail of the game.
Such as spreading my super impreganatory man seed across the land amongst the fair women of Albion. Also, yes I am being sarcastic when I say fair. There be some ugly bitches in Albion, but they got some nice titties, I'll give them that. "Dammit where is the motor boat expression!?"

So apparently after only one night of passionate ugly bumping, my impressively potent sperm count does it's magic... oh sorry magic doesn't exist in Fable... "imposes it's will" on the helpless ovaries of my beautiful ladies. Boom Baby!!!

So I have taken to sheathing mine mighty sword so as not to go insane from the incessant nagging of the little ones. Another cute new feature of Fable 2 is being able to give nicknames to NPCs. This in and of itself gave me quite a bit of fun, but after naming my wives "cum dumpster, executive slut and ho bag", my creativity waned.

My lovely wife "cum dumpster"

My Character: Having played Fable 1 and really liking the role of ninja-like slow time dude that flips out and kills people, I went along the same path as far as will and looks as I did in the original. Maybe it's because I never got over how badass Shadow from Final Fantasy was. Given the opportunity I couldn't pass it down. (although I could never really get into being a rogue in WoW... hmm go figure). However, dying all my clothes black unlocked the "Goth" achievement, I almost / wrists in celebration.

The shadow knows

However, apparently this "bums out" a lot of the folk in a lot of the towns and for the most part I wouldn't have given a fuck, but I decided to make my first character a good one and I am at least trying to upkeep a good moral standing with the townsfolk, short of boning all their women. So I sprung some cash to get some nice threads, a pony tail and some wicked chops. However, this made me look like Russel Crowe from Master and Commander.

Oi Tugga! Thems looks like they wanna Foight!!!

Although, not in and of itself a bad thing, it wasn't really vibing with my whole ninja hero mystique.

Gameplay: So the new set-up for organizing will spells is pretty awesome I have to admit. The initial confusion I had with setting up the spells in the right spots, I will accredit to my own retardedness. Once you realize that you shouldn't be switching between different spells of the same level during combat, stuff gets a lot easier.

Anyway, If you want to be an awesome ninja badass shadow like myself, here is how to set it up.

Level 1 slow time is essential. The slow time spell has been merged with the assassin rush spell in the first fable, which is a great idea. To use the assassin rush effect of slow time just point your left thumbstick in the direction of the baddy you want to sneak up on and tap b.

Level 2 blades. Good surround spell that you can use to whittle off health of a few or target one person and use the assassin rush to get behind that sorry biotch and slash him in the back while he gets impaled by your spirit blades for a bad ass ninja combo.

level 3 chaos. I usually open with this spell to buy me a little time. Followed by a quick lvl 1 slow time, then blades and then I just start assassin rushing the bastards.

level 4 force push. I just got this, but I figured it would be good if I was just completely fucked. lvl 1 slow time and then charge up this bad boy and you can get yourself out of some sticky situations.

level 5 blades. I haven't actually gotten this yet, but I intended to use it as my big focus KaBoom spell in boss battles.

Stats: Speed>Toughness=Physique>Accuracy.
The ninja spec is all about speed and finesse. You will want to pick up the Roll ability from Dexterous styles to dodge out of the way of enemies and Flourish is nice to dell out some nice damage at the end of a brutal combo.

Weapons- melee weapon -Katana for the speed and + 15 to looking the part
ranged weapon -Pistol for the speed again. You aren't going to need to be sniping people from afar the key is to be in the mindset of "ninja flipping out".

Clothing- Bandit bandana- only the eyes are visible= very ninja.
Moonless Midnight dye- veil the world in shadows= very ninja.

Anyway, those are my opening thoughts for Fable 2. My next character is going to be an evil female sorcerer. Keep tuned!!!

Blizzcon 2008

Blizzcon baby!!!! Yeaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! Where sweaty shut-ins, pasty dorks and hot ladies in corsets and wings all gather for my amusement... I mean, all gather to be enticed by any little morsel of info blizzard will give them on any of their new games.

Well, I had taken some pictures and had them developed, but my scanner decided to screw up one time too many and now I have a broken heap of plastic where once there was an intact heap of plastic that pretended to be a printer / scanner.

However, the pictures weren't great, my digital camera eats battery like Jabba the hut eats bite-size snickers, so I opted for the disposable camera. It unfortunately isn't really good at taking pictures inside the cavernous seizure inducing light flickering hall that is the anaheim convention center. So let me just summarize what I took pictures of: Hot chicks in costume, weird people in costume and blizzard merchandise. Yeah... whatever, you suck too.

Anyway, there was definitely plenty to do at Blizzcon, 3 seperate stations for Diablo 3, WoW: WotLK and Starcraft 2. As I said earlier I didn't get to play Diablo, what with my procrostination and the enormous line. However, Lich King looks awesome and Starcraft 2 looks awesome. As part of my Blizzard swag bag, I got a code for the Starcraft 2 beta, so more on that in the future.

Speaking of Starcraft 2, Blizzard announced that although all 3 races will be accessible in multiplayer, each of the single player campaigns will be released in expansions. I think this is bullshit. I can understand an expansion if you are going to add a lot of features to the pre-existing format, ala Burning Crusade, Frozen Throne and what not, but making the fan base pay 3 times for the storyline is a clear money grab probably initiated by the soulless fucktards at Activision / Vivendi. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Kirby isn't pleased t(•.•t) he says executives at Activision can kindly find themselves a fire to stand in and thusly die from.

However, gameplay is pretty awesome, the zerglings seemed a little over powered and the marines a little under powered and I didn't get to see too much of the more higher end units, being that I only got to play in 20 minute intervals.

Okay, moving on, all throughout the con there were tournaments for WoW arena, Warcaft 3 and Starcraft. I only managed to catch a glimpse of the WoW arena and it was entirely too confusing to be exciting and the final match was merely to see who could play the Druid, Warlock and Warrior set-up better. I.E. I didn't give a fuck.

To round it all out at the end of each night, the crowd of around 6000 people were entertained on the mainstage by Master of Ceremonies Jay Mohr and Headlining comedian Patton Oswald. The first night had the exciting and often hilarious dance and costume contest. The costume contest was simultaneously awkward, impressive and hilarious. The dance contest 3rd place runner up who stripped down and did the ogre dance, proved that less is more. While the constume contest winner with the giant moving mechanical turtle that took her 3 months to build proved that more is more.

I have to say Jay Mohr did a great job as MC, he was hilarious all night and realized that unlike last year he couldn't just phone it in. He even managed to get us through the unbearable and hopefully last Joke contest. I got one. How many Blizzard fans does it take to tell a good joke? They can't.

Also a huge unexpected highlight was on the very last night: Video Games Live. A live orchestra of music hosted by Tommy Tallarico from many of the games from the Blizzard franchise, which included an amazing piano solo by the video game pianist, Martin Leung, the underground hit "Lament of the Highborne" sung by the beautiful, Vangie Gunn, the world famous Illian pipe player performing the introduction to the Wrath of the Lich King, Eric Rigler, and the awesome David Arkenstone band performing all of the tavern music in World of Warcraft. It was really a great high note to end Blizzcon on.

All in all it was a great experience. It really felt like the people at Blizzard throw Blizzcon every year as thanks to all their fans... oh and so they can pretend they are rock stars, even though their lyrics consist of horrible puns. So from this fan, thank you blizzcon!

Hawt n00 g43mz

Yeah... It's my turn. Lets dig around in the ol' grab bag and see what we can dig up. There's a lot of stuffs comin out that I'm looking forward to. I'll sans the obligatory World of Warcraft expansion. Cuz I think deep down, everyone knows they want it.

Ahhh the Star Ocean franchise. How I do enjoy it. You know, come to think of it. I haven't really had a chance to play the first two games. I've only played the third installment on the PS2. It was fun. Combat system was interesting, it had a nice convoluted story line, retardedly large crafting system. Now lets see what it's successor has to offer. From initial reports(Which is VERY initial) it's going to be action driven similar to the 3rd installment. 3d action swing sword swoosh swooosh kill stuff get loot move on with life. Yeah, that about sums it up.

Expectations:I gotta admit. I do have high hopes for this game. Why? Cuz it hits my genre dead on. I like fantasy sci-fi. It's got beam swords and futuristic ships and gunz and swoosh swoosh kill stuff get loot move on with life. I like that. Like Phantasy Star Online. Make me feel goooood.

Pitfalls:Usually one of the most problematic things with action oriented RPG games is the general IQ of your party members. Sometimes they're pretty compitent. While in other cases, they're goddamn blubbering idiots that have melee characters casting stupid spells while healers are meleeing. Also, I hope they keep the tech factor high on this one. Some of the other Star Oceans did a lot of "Past meets Present" kind of deals. I mean, it's cool and all. But I love seeing the high tech.

Ahhhhhh. My love. This has got to be one of the BEST RPGS EVER FUCKING MADE BY THE HANDS OF MEN GUIDED BY GOD/BUDDHA/SATAN/NATURE/ALL OF THE PRIOR COMBINED IN ONE. That's how good this goddamn game is. And no. I'm not exaggerating.Expectations:I... Kind of am guessing this game will stick to it's roots. I mean, IT FUCKING BETTER. It's like telling perfect to be more perfect. IT CAN'T. However! It can be built upon. So in all of their additions to the game, I expect them to keep the caliber of story/items/encounters at the same level as the original. If they do that, then I can happily walk around with a 2 foot erection and life will be good.

Pitfalls:
Hmmm... Well, I guess I am worried about playing it on the DS. I hope they don't try to do any stupid ass gimmicky touch screen bullshit. That'll be like taking a perfectly good cheeseburger. And wiping your ass with it. It's like, WHY!? YOU COULD'VE EATEN THAT CHEESEBURGER!!!! WHYYYYYYYY!!!!?!??!?!?!!11111

All right. I'll admit. This game just hits my weak spot. There probably is no merit in playing this game for anything "Unique" or "Original" in the gameplay/story. BUT GODDAMNIT, THERE'S GUNDAMS IN THIS FUCKING GAME. AND THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.



Expectations:
GUNDAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BIG FUCKING ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Pitfalls:I already know all the crappy things about this series. I guess, the only way they could make it worse... Would be to remove mobile suits from this game... Then I'd just have to doo doo in a box and mail it to Koei.

This game does peak my interest somewhat. I mean, I like the co-op idea of the game. Survival horror with co-op. And if you die. You become a zombie boss and you get to fuck all your former teammates for letting you die.
Expectations:I demand that this game have good co-op. It's not a polite suggestion. It better be fucking goddamn amazing. That is all. Team oriented, survival. I likez itz.

Pitfalls:
Of course theres always the chance that they might fuck up the co-op. Or maybe the game might have repetitive scenarios. Again, I'm not looking for much from this game, just co-op. Do it wrong, and go fuck yourself valve.

Ahh, Kingdom Hearts. So brilliantly done. I was quite disappointed when they announced the Chain of Memories game for GBA exclusive back in the day. But Square-Enix, you have redeemed yourself. Granted, this game has already been released in Japan for... God, almost 2 years or so. But no matter. Better late than never I guess.

Expectations:
I've already seen some of the gameplay from trailers and movies from the Japanese release. I'm pretty well aware of what's involved here. Hard to expect something that you've already seen before. I guess I expect them to keep the high level of voice acting they've had in the past two PS2 games.


Pitfalls:Terrible voice acting or even changing the voice actors from the other two games. If it ain't broke, don't fuck with it. I guess it could also be bad if they fucked up the localization and the script for this game. BUUUUT it's the Kingdom Hearts team. I have faith in them.... For now...

Final Fantasy XIII YEAHHHH. And if any of you smart asses say "DERRRR Final Fantasy XIII is on the 360 too DERRRR." I'ma find a way to jump through the goddamn internet and cock punch you. This game was built and developed for the motherfucking PS3. It's like McDonalds suddenly starts selling fucking Whoppers and onion rings. Just because Microsoft gave Square-Enix a handjob under the table at E3, dosn't give grounds for this game to be released on the 360. ANYWAY. Oh Final Fantasy. How we love you. Well, at least I do.

Expectations:
Well. I expect alot. I expect superb graphics. Amazing story line. Superior sound. Decent to good voice acting. Mini games. LOTS OF SHIT TO DO. Yeah... But then again, most people tend to expect that from every Final Fantasy.

Pitfalls:
Hmmm. I guess Final Fantasy can do wrong things sometimes. For example, many didn't like Final Fantasy XII's combat system. Maybe they'll touch up on that. Which does bring up the question, how will the combat gameplay look for the entire game. Sure we've seen some kickass cut scene quality combat, but how does that translate to normal gameplay. When we're out killing random baddies in the world. If it's always cinematic like that, how long will it be till we're like, OH GOD JUST GET IT OVER WITH. And of course, with a game that has such high expectations, any little fault will be grounds for people to flame it. So lets see it Square-Enix. Bring out the big guns for this.

Lets see it
Well, that's a small sample of the games I'm lookin forward to in the future. Will they live up to my "Holy" expectations? Only time will tell. Till then, I will hope and speculate... And play other games.